The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician's car, after I threw them there.

I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was a US politician's ideal voter.

Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still.

All the lessons of history and experience must be lost upon us if we are content to trust alone to the peculiar advantages we happen to possess.

Don't judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.