I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was a US politician's ideal voter.

(on his thought on excessive nationalism) ...the country was no doubt very important, but that there was no need at all to act the clown by talking about it all the time, as if one were completely possessed by it.

Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still.

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

Civic virtue is not best justified in terms of fair play in a cooperative enterprise for mutual advantage, because citizenship is not a strictly reciprocal relationship in which people receive benefits in proportion to their contributions, but a joint relationship that realizes the common good of freedom and self-government.

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.